Worshipper most Devout
by lymbis
Summary: A lifetime in the persepctive of a wraith worshipper. Please R&R pleaseand I updated chapter 4 already, thanks to advice from the R&R's!
1. Taken

I have had this fic lurking in the wings for a while. I test posted it on my Yahoo group, and decided to update and post it here. Thanks to Amaruk for the beta. Disclaimer: Yes I know, I don't own SGA or its characters. R&R please

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WORSHIPPER MOST DEVOUT

It seemed ages ago that I pledged my undying devotion to the Wraith. It was such an easy and willing choice. Humans are so uncaring and as a whole, stupid that I am embarrassed to be one. But that will change soon. I have been selected to become one of the wraith. The most beautiful, intelligent and passionate race I know. Some say they kill only for pleasure or simply because they can, I beg to differ. Is it any different when a shark kills a swimmer or a mountain lion kills a hiker? They kill because they have to in order to survive. True, there are those among the wraith who enjoy killing, but there are humans who also delight in killing for pleasure. They say power corrupts and they, whoever they are, are right. I decided long ago that if I had been born a wraith I would use the gift of life sparingly, if ever. For I believe that no one, regardless of age, race or gender should ever be given the power to play god. The ancients crossed the line when they created the wraith and in the end, their arrogance cost them their lives. It is because of these views that I look forward to living a long and fruitful life as a wraith and I vow to hunt only those on either side that deserve to die. I am Sarafina and this is my story as I journey from worshipper to wraith…

I was taken when my planet was culled twenty years ago. I was eight at the time and I was the only one left of my family. The wraith had consumed all of my seven brothers and parents. My captors found my curly blond hair and big green eyes intriguing, the queen in particular. I was brought before her and one of the big guys forced me to kneel by yanking on my hair until my knees smashed onto the floor.

"Human," the queen cooed as she caressed my hair and stroked my cheek almost fondly, yet with insatiable hunger. As she withdrew her hand she appeared somewhat startled and confused, as it was wet with tears. She looked at her hand curiously and then asked, "What troubles you child?"

"You're not my mother and I want to go home!"

She seemed taken aback by this, but realized I was being honest and after all, I was only a child. In one swift, yet graceful movement, she placed one finger under my chin and lifted me to a standing position. I was so small; I barely came to her navel. She noted the way I kept my eyes lowered and answered every question. I was taught to be polite to adults and this one frightened me into behaving anyway. After a few moments, she nodded at the guard and I was led down the hall and placed in a room with one very old and grumpy looking human woman. She made me take my clothes off and handed me a cream colored, long sleeved dress with a black sash. My hair was combed and pulled back over the ears with two barrettes woven out of black cloth like the sash. When I was dressed, she led me up an interminably long flight of stairs and all the way down the hall to yet another set of doors; I was learning quickly that there are a lot of doors on this ship. When they opened it took me a minute to realize what I was looking at. The room was as big as the main house in my village and one wall was made entirely of a window. I had only looked at the stars from my planet; never had I dreamed I would be flying among them. It was terrifying to look out and see unending nothingness, yet I was transfixed. The human abruptly turned and left the room. For a moment, I panicked. I ran to the doors and tried to open them. When they didn't open I panicked even more, for I hated being alone especially on a strange ship. "Do not fear child." I whirled at the sound of the voice and again came to face the queen. I immediately became interested in my feet. This seemed to amuse her and she smiled ever so slightly.

"What is to become of me?"

"You will stay in my quarters and tend to my needs"

"Needs?"

"Yes child, you will aid the others in tending to my quarters, clothing and if you are well behaved you may even be aloud to groom me."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The queen wanted to keep me as her servant. Pride and indignation flared in my little body. I longed to touch her hair. It was long, shiny and black with white streaks in it. I was brought back to reality when the queen tisked and I realized I had been staring. Her orange eyes burned into mine and I bent to one knee saying "the honor is mine, my queen." This pleased her immensely.

"You will start your duties tomorrow, now you will eat and rest."


	2. Dawning

Dawning

"Wake up stupid girl!" These were the first words I heard in what I assumed must be morning. I groaned, rolled over and pretended to be asleep in the hope the intruder would go away. To my utter annoyance the blankets were ripped off and I was left to shiver in the cold that I had come to associate with space. I slept in a large room with several other human females of varying ages. The room was circular and the beds were really one continuous bench that lined the circle and jutted three feet out from the wall. It was not deluxe accommodations, but it was better than the holding cells. I sighed, rolled off the bench onto the floor and reached for my dress which I had placed at the foot of it, only my dress was not there. Immediately I looked on the floor and did not see it there either. I turned in the direction of the snickering girls on my left and saw they were holding my dress up and waving it around, taunting me with it. I am not a morning person to begin with. That coupled with the last two days I've had and losing everything I held dear, an emotion I had never felt before bubbled from deep inside. What happened next surprised everyone in the room including me. With my hands bunched into fists I ran forward and launched myself at the two girls. The first punch caught one in the eye and I landed right on top of the other girl. They screamed as I continued to punch, claw and grab anything within reach. One of the older ladies,Genoa, lept forward to help break up the melee. I think she tried to calm me, but I could not hear through all my shrieks of indignation and I could barely see through the tears. As her arms rapped around mine, I planted my feet and launched upwards which made my head connect with her chin. I heard a crunch and saw a bright flash of light for a moment and then the arms holding me released their grip. I was about to lunge back onto the girls on the floor, when the door to the room opened and a warrior stepped in. He looked from me to the mess around the room and the girls on the floor, shook his head and before I knew it, he had caught me in his large arms. I hit his mask and tried to pull on it. He finally gave up and shot me in the face with his stunner pistol. In a flash of blue, everything went dark.

The pain in my face brought me fully awake. I instantly panicked because something was against my face and I could barely move for the oppressive weight surrounding me. It took a minute for my vision to return and when it did, I looked up at the mask of the same warrior who had taken me to the queen the first time. We were in one of the holding cells and he was holding me in his arms. That explained why I couldn't move about very much. My thoughts came back to me and I gasped. I knew I was in deep trouble. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to cry. The warrior wiped my tears with one large finger and cupped my face against his chest plate. I immediately felt warmth, not danger coming from him. My mind went fuzzy and the warmth in my body intensified as in my mind I heard him gently rebuking me for my outburst. Then he set me on my feet. As he turned to leave the cell, I followed. In what seemed to take forever to my little legs we arrived at the queens chamber. The warrior walked right up to the queen and knelt before her. She remained seated on her throne. No words were spoken, but by the furious look the queen threw in my direction, I knew she was being informed of my outburst.

"Come forward child."

I went forward and knelt in front of her. "Yes, my queen?"

"What is the meaning of this outburst?"

"I don't fully know my Queen."

She eyed me curiously for a moment. Then she looked at the warrior. A moment later we were both leaving the throne room. I was so confused by everything that happened so far that day that I finally realized I was still in my undergarments, a white top and bottoms that reached my knees. I sighed and plodded along behind the warrior. We arrived back at the sleeping room, which was mercifully empty. I hurried to dress. My sash was torn in one place but everything else was intact. I was prompted to collect my belongings, so I gathered my barrettes and left the sleeping room behind me forever.


	3. Rude Awakening

Rude Awakening

I followed the warrior up three flights of stairs that seemed to be hewn out of the ship itself and were lit with a yellow glowing substance that reminded me of the bugs we would catch at night on my planet. Before I knew it, we were back at the entrance to the Queen's quarters. The doors opened and the warrior motioned me in. I hesitated not wanting to go in, so he placed one large hand on top of my head and firmly guided me into the room. Once in he turned to exit. As the doors closed behind him I sighed deeply, for the hundredth time that day. Little did I know how much I was going to sigh over the next five years.

While standing in the main chamber, I felt something's eyes were burning into me, so I turned to face them. Nothing was there but I could not shake the eerie feeling of being watched. So I huffed, stomped my foot and was about to head toward the door when something heavy and shrieking landed on my shoulder, knocking me to the floor.

"Hey!" I shouted.

"AARGH!"

I flung my head back and made contact with something hard and utterly unforgiving. I went up on my hands and knees and rolled hard to my left. The weight on top of me shifted to the floor with a thud. I kicked out and rolled up to a standing position. I looked down at my attacker and my jaw dropped open. It was a female wraith child. She was holding her jaw and looked furious.

"I'm s-" but the sentence was not complete before she lunged at me and caught me in the belly button with her shoulder. The wind was gone from my lungs. All I could do was gasp. She tried to claw my face, but I got a firm grip on both her hands and held them at an awkward angle. She threw her head back and let out a shriek that made me drop her hands and cover my ears. Just then, a warrior, not mine, came running into the room followed closely by the Queen. Today was definitely not a good day. The Queen surveyed the situation and after a moment, both of us were hauled up by the backs of our dresses and marched to the corner. The little girl had replaced the look of ferocity with one of disgust and it was directed at me. The look we were both getting from the Queen was no different.


	4. Revelation

Woo Hoo! I conquered RL and was able to finish chapter 4. Thank you for all who have reviewed so far and please, continue to do so. hugs I took Erisrocks advice and added descriptions of characters. (your rock Eris, hence your name) :)

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Revelation

We were standing before the queen. Actually the warrior was holding us both up by the backs of our dresses.

"What is the meaning of this!" the queen said this through teeth clenched so tightly it came out as a hiss. Neither one of us spoke. The wraith girl was still looking angry and I was too scared to do anything. She looked back and forth between us. Still there was no response. She snorted and came to stand directly in front of the wraith child. The queen placed one beautifully taloned finger under the girls' chin and yanked her head up so they were eye to eye. The girl ceased to look angry and was now genuinely terrified. The face of the queen was so close that strands of the girl's black hair were being moved in time to the queens breathing. The girl bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling, planted her feet on the floor and stood rigidly straight. She matched the queen's unyielding gaze with her purple eyes. I sucked in a breath. I did not know what was taking place between them, but it was obvious they knew each other some how. The girl continued to look defiantly into the queens eyes while the queen cocked her head to one side. Her expression gave nothing away. After what seemed like eternity, the connection was broken and the wraith girl's legs buckled. The warrior lowered her to her knees and released her dress.

The girl was on her hands and knees breathing rapidly. "Sorry mother".

I stopped breathing and all heads in the room looked towards the wraith on the floor. The look on the queen's face crossed from annoyed, to outraged to something akin to tenderness. She stood before the girl and ordered her to stand. The girl stood and looked her mother in the eye once again. The queen took a deep breath and said "A true princess does not apologize-"

"Forgive me mother".

"Nor do they beg forgiveness!" the queens orange eyes flashed dangerously. The girl immediately lowered her gaze to the floor.

"I have brought this human to be a help mate to you. You will teach her our ways and language and in return she will teach you humility and obedience to your superiors. At least until, no,_if_ you become queen."

The girls' breathing was ragged and I could hear a low rumbling from deep within her. The queen arched her brow in a look that challenged her daughter to question her again. When nothing happened, the queen said "Wraith have several redeeming qualities, one of which is _self control_." After that the queen left the room with the warrior in her wake.

I stood looking at the door for a moment. I could not believe I had just escaped punishment for the second time in one day. My thoughts had consumed me and so I was startled when I heard a sniff behind me. I turned to see the wraith girl sitting on the floor with her knees drawn up to her chest and her head in her hands. She was crying, but trying not to show it. I hesitated for a moment, torn between ignoring her completely and comforting her somehow. My left shoulder was an aching reminder of her attack, yet I could not leave someone my size and age to cry alone. I can't explain why, but I just can't leave someone in need no matter what race they are. I perched next to her on the floor and touched her left arm. She jerked it away and turned her back to me. I sighed and tried to touch her right arm. I got the same result. I am nothing if not stubborn, as my mother used to say, so I knelt behind her and draped my arms over her shoulders, laced my fingers together and rested my head on her back just at the base of her skull. She tried to move away, but I held firm to let her know that I was not going anywhere. After a few more attempts to flee, she eased back into the embrace and sighed. We stayed like that until she fell asleep. I lowered her onto her side, snuggled up behind her and put my arm over her waist. Her hair was soft and smelled wonderful so I used it as a sort of pillow. Emotions can be draining and after my two fights I was completely exhausted. Shortly after lying down my eyes closed and I remembered no more of the long day.


	5. Language Lessons

Language Lessons

There is no morning in space, everything is dark. I have no idea how long I slept but the protest from my dry eyes told me it was not enough. I yawned and heaved myself upright. Only then did I realize that I was no longer on the floor, or in the same room for that matter. I looked around at my surroundings and realized that everything was there. A night stand that emitted a glowing yellow light, a comb and barrettes on top of it, a white and black striped fur blanket, a roll of cloth for a pillow, and I was still wearing my dress. I looked over the side of the bed and saw my slippers. I was debating whether to go back to sleep but the need to explore my new room proved too much and I leapt out of bed. My bed was in the corner and on the opposite wall was a door. There was also a door opposite the foot of the bed and as I was standing there, the one to my left opened and the little wraith girl came in. She folded her arms and stared at me, so I did the same. She arched her right brow and so did I. She sighed, put her hands on her hips and stuck her head forward. I did this too. She let out a low growl and I attempted to do this but it came out more of a gurgle and I burped. She looked highly offended for a minute and then we both burst out laughing. She said something that I did not understand. I stopped laughing and looked at her with my head cocked toward my right shoulder. She stopped laughing and looked at me as if I had three eyes. "What?"

"It means _humorous_ in my language. If you and I are going to become valuable members of this hive then we must do as my mo- the Queen asks and learn each others languages and ways. You will teach me more of your language first. I don't think I'll like your ways."

"Why should you go first?" I said this and then pouted.

"Because I am Wraith."

"So."

"So?"

"It means different things in my language."

"How can one word mean different things?"

"Because it can."

"Who made this rule?"

"I do not know."

"What do you mean you do not know?"

"It means _I do not know_ in my language." She opened her mouth a little and snorted at me. "Your language is dumb." She said.

"It is not dumb!"

"Yes it is. How can humans communicate if their words mean so many things? It is no wonder you are our food. Wraith language is far more superior."

"That is one of the dumberer things I have ever heard! And I am not your food!"

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes!"

"NO!"

Her face was turning a darker blue and I could feel mine turning red. We were stepping on each others toes and our noses were touching. I was waving my arms over my head and screaming human obscenities I had heard from my father. She was bearing her teeth and yelling at me in her language. We were about to start hitting each other when she became quiet and backed away a few steps. She closed her eyes and folded her hands in front of her. Her lips were moving as if she was saying a prayer. My last obscene word died on my lips and I didn't know what to do except wait for her to finish. We were not allowed to interrupt prayers at home. Her lips stopped moving; she opened her purple eyes and exhaled loudly through her nose. She didn't look mad anymore.

"What are you doing?"

"It is called meditation. My mother does it every night before rest."

"Are you okay?"

"Obviously I am."

I bristled at this last comment, but before I could reply she raised her right hand to silence me. I saw the red mark on it and involuntarily shuddered. She immediately withdrew her hand, made a fist and put it behind her back. After looking at the floor and shuffling her feet for a moment she looked up at me and said "Do you want to learn it?"

"Why should I?"

"It will help you with your self control. As my m-, the qu-, _she_ stated, the wraith have many qualities one of which is self control."

"You want to teach me to be a wraith?!"

She thought about that for a moment and then nodded. "If you are to be a good human servant then you must learn to control yourself. I shall teach you meditation. I do not think language lessons will do for now."

I nodded my agreement.

"Good! Lessons can wait. I'm hungry. Have you eaten?"

"No."

She turned and left the room and I followed in her wake. As I watched her black hair flowing behind her and the way she tried to carry herself upright I couldn't help but think I was trailing behind her mother.


	6. Meditation

**Hi! I am alive! No really, I am! I am sorry it has taken so long to update this story. I will start self flogging shortly after completing the entire story, okay? Of course, thank you to all of you who have read and/or reviewed this. Pretty please let me know what you think. ******

**Meditation**

**We had a light meal of bread and various fruits. Some of the fruit had fur on it. I didn't want to eat furry fruit and neither did the princess by the way she stuck her nose up at it. She turned to me and asked "Are you ready to learn?" **

"**Now?!" I was rather frightened at learning anything after eating; all I really wanted to do was nap.**

"**Well yes, otherwise why would I have posed the question?"**

**I opened my mouth to respond and then thought about her question and decided I had no response to it because it made sense. Not wanting to appear weak and well, human, I straightened my stance and threw my head in the air as I had seen her do so many times. **

"**Of course I am ready. Why would I not be?" **

**She arched one eye ridge, snorted and took me by my right hand, so her right hand wasn't touching me, and led me out of the eating room. We only went up 2 doors to her room. Except for the neatness, it could have been mine as the layouts were the same. She sat on the floor at the foot of her bed and motioned for me to sit across from her. I knelt down and stared at her, waiting for more instructions. She stared back. I stared some more and so did she. After forever, she sighed heavily and pointed first to her legs and then mine. I said "Yes, those are legs." She rolled her eyes and used larger gestures to indicate that my legs were supposed to be crossed like hers. **

"**Oh!" Then I sat down on my butt and tried to figure out how to cross my legs one over the other and get my feet on top of my knees at the same time. I got it, but after a few seconds my feet would slide off my knees and my legs would come apart from the twist they were in. "What is wrong with your legs?"**

"**Nothing is wrong with them, they're just short, I guess."**

"**You just named something that was wrong with them."**

"**So?"**

"**Why did you say nothing was wrong with them, then say there is a problem with them?"**

"**It's just a human thing. My brothers told my mom nothing was wrong so many times that after a while we all said it."**

"**Your poor mother." **

**I didn't know what to say to this. She had the annoying habit of making me not know how to respond to things lately. It made me feel scared and confused. The princess bit her lower lip and looked at the floor for a while after she said that. Then she took a deep breath, sat up straight and said "The first rule of meditation is quiet." **

"**Oh great!" I said. She just looked at me and shook her head. **

"**What?"**

"**Be quiet!"**

"**Why?"**

"**Because that is what you do in meditation!"**

"**Meditation is boring!"**

**She looked shocked for a moment and then stood up. As she walked over to the door, it opened and she motioned for me to leave. "I don't want to go out there."**

"**I want you to leave."**

"**Well I don't want to." I crossed my arms and pouted. Out there was the unknown and the hallways were dark and scary. **

"**Leave."**

"**No."**

"**Yes."**

"**No."**

"**Yes."**

"**No."**

"**You are acting like an infant!"**

"**I am not!"**

"**Yes you are!"**

**We continued arguing until a drone appeared in the doorway and tilted his head to the right. We both stopped arguing and she backed away from the door to sit on the floor next to me. This was the same drone that had broken up our last fight. I could tell by his tattoo on his right arm. I didn't want to stare but all I could do was wonder how much ink it took to make that tattoo because his arm was bigger than me. The princess and the drone were looking at each other for so long, I figured they were having a conversation. I don't like it when Wraith talk to each other silently. It made me feel dumb and reminded me even more of how weak humans are. I hated being human. Suddenly they broke mind contact and the drone motioned for me to stand. You do not disobey a drone, so I stood so fast I almost fell over on top of the princess. She stood as well and said to me "I sensed your fear of leaving this room and did not understand it until he suggested you may be afraid of the dark. My mother says it is not healthy to have fear, so you must go out into the dark until you feel comfortable in it. He will show you around the hive for the remaining hours of the day." I just stood there with my eyes so wide open that they hurt and I was getting a headache. She actually smiled at me and told me not to worry. I still couldn't move so the drone picked up by my arms and placed me in the hallway in front of him. **

**The doors to her room closed and I was left all alone in the hallway with a man who was at least 10 times bigger than my father! I tried to make myself as small as possible. He put his hand on my left shoulder and spun me around. We passed so many doors that looked the same and I was so tired and lost that after a while I sat down in the middle of a hallway, crossed my arms and pouted at him. He turned and looked down at me and motioned for me to come to him. I stuck out my tongue. He motioned for me to go to him again. I stuck out my tongue and turned my back to him. Apparently he had had enough because I was scooped off the floor and held by my armpits so our heads were level with each other. I started to kick and flail my arms and scream at the top of my lungs. **

"**I hate you! Why did you have to kill my family! And bring me to this stupid ship in stupid space with stupid food and people and clothes. All of you are stupid, just leave me alone!" He shook his head at me and then brought me in close to him. His left arm wrapped around my middle and his arm came up my back so that his large hand could hold my head to his chest. I could hear his large heart beating in his large chest. His other arm he placed under my bottom. His arms were so big they covered me like a blanket. His body was so warm and I was so tired I stopped resisting after a short while. He must have held me until I fell asleep because the next day I woke up in my bed. My shoes were off and I was wrapped so tightly in my blanket it felt like a cocoon. I remembered the events of the day before and when I got to the memory of being held by him I cried to realize that I had been needing contact so badly. I had thoughts that made me wonder if I would ever be normal compared to everyone else on the hive, if I would ever learn the layout of the hive and the rest of the what-ifs were coming so fast in my head that I curled up tighter in my blanket and cried myself back to sleep because I didn't know what else to do to make my mind stop racing. **


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